Coach’s Corner | Episode 1: The pause that powers presence

Advantage President & CEO Jonathan Hodge is a certified ICF coach through Georgetown University’s Institute of Transformational Leadership. As part of our series on The Intangibles, focusing on superpowers you can awaken in your people to ease the pain of today's uncertainties, Jon is weaving in powerful coaching moments relevant to each episode in the series. Register here to participate!  

Emotional intelligence isn’t about appearing calm; it’s about being fully awake.

There’s a moment I keep coming back to.

I was heading into a coaching session—running late, mentally juggling 3 things, and already pre-writing the conversation in my head. I sat down, smiled, asked my first question… and completely missed the tone in the other person’s voice.

I didn’t pause.
I performed.

That day reminded me of a quiet truth I’m still learning: Emotional intelligence isn’t about appearing calm; it’s about being fully awake. Awake to what’s happening inside us. Awake to what’s happening in others. Awake enough to choose our response rather than default to reaction.

That’s the power of emotional intelligence and why I’m so excited that we’re starting The Intangibles series with it.

What emotional intelligence looks like through a coaching lens

In the BlueEQ™ framework, emotional intelligence is made up of 5 dimensions: self-regard, self-awareness, self-control, social perception, and social effectiveness.

Here’s what I’ve noticed in my coaching: Most leaders want to skip straight to “how do I get better at handling people?”

But it rarely works if we don’t start by turning inward first.

For example, self-regard — the foundation of self-worth — is often misunderstood. It’s not about confidence in your skills. It’s about your belief in your value, especially when you’re uncertain, under pressure, or feeling like you have nothing to prove.

When that foundation is strong, the rest of emotional intelligence grows with it. Your awareness sharpens. Your self-control strengthens. And you show up in conversations with more groundedness and less guardedness.

3 questions to sit with this week

• Where in your leadership are you reacting instead of responding? (What emotion tends to drive that reaction?)
• What conversation this week could use more presence from you than performance? (What would it mean to bring curiosity instead of control?)
• How would your next 1:1 change if you started by listening for emotion, not just information?

This week’s experiment: The one-breath reset

Try this simple but powerful reset in your next important conversation:

1. As you approach the conversation, pause for one full breath before speaking.
2. Ask yourself: How do I want this person to feel after talking with me?
3. Let that intention shape your tone, not just your words.

One breath. One intention. One shift in presence.
Small move. Big ripple.

The real superpower here isn’t controlling your emotions—it’s being in relationship with them. Naming them. Navigating them. Choosing presence over autopilot.

Here’s to waking up one breath at a time.

See you next episode,
—Jon